Greatest Gain
by thegoodgirldoll
Summary: She is his greatest gain, and the only thing more painful than his childhood memories would be losing her.


**Author's Note: Written for Lamia of the Dark's 'Stratified Agate Competition' Level One. Write about a memory from one of your character's childhood. **

"You know you can ask me anything." Remus was very still and his words came out quiet; gentle.

Tonks struggled with the idea of voicing her question. They had just hit this amazing peak in their relationship and everything felt so solid...Was she ready to potentially forfeit that and scare him off?

She gained more courage as he continued to toy with a long strand of her hair- golden brown and shiny locks today. The feel of his skin touching her neck every few seconds sent chills down her spine; she couldn't live in this relationship by hiding all of her deepest questions from him. She was curious; sad for him...And he had said that she could ask anything.

"What do you remember about being bitten?"

The movement of his hand stopped and she sucked in what felt like frozen shards of air.

There, she had done it. She bolted up from her laying position the second he moved, and this brought about a light smile from his lips. He was just propping himself up; giving himself support and strength, she assumed. She reached out a hand to console him, to call off the question, but he declined it. He set her hand down where it made contact with the fuzz of her old 'Weird Sisters' throw and she grasped at it for dear life.

"That is a wonderful question," he did not lose his smile. "And I would be happy to answer it."

She stared into his eyes, wondering if he was messing with her; wondering if he was slowly going mad that she had even uttered those words.

By the flickering of the candlelight, she could tell his eyes said different: he was actually quite calm. He appeared to feel safe. He did not have to dig deeply to find the memory that was situated at the heart of his childhood; the heart of his life, really. As he subconsciously pulled it to the front of his mind once again, he closed his eyes and began to speak.

"It was a hot summer's day. I was playing outdoors of course- back before I was always hauled up with a book. I had been playing with friends but it was getting late, and the night's scarce breezes were blowing through. They went home, and like the organized child I had always been, I was gathering my toys that had been scattered throughout the yard and thrown beyond the fence's boundaries. I was about six at the time," he swallowed slowly and tensed. She grabbed his hand, and now, he did not resist. "I spotted a stray orange ball I had forgotten down by the creek. Now, the creek always frightened me as a child. The water was deeper than any creek's water should be and oddly darker than the bright water that we had in the well near our home and the pond at the park we all spent time cooling off in. But, I had to retrieve the ball. My father was out 'away on business,' as my mum always said, and my mum was an orderly woman who wouldn't take no for an answer. My father could lessen her blows, but without him, it would be mandatory that I clean the mess I made. I mean, not that I wouldn't want to anyway, I-"

"-Remus," she interrupted him lovingly, "you're rambling."

He nodded slowly and opened his eyes.

"Greyback was there, at the creek. He had my ball; he was temporarily human. The sun was gone.. He tossed it to me and I thanked him, but when I went to turn around, the moonlight illuminating my path back home, I heard an awful snarl and the words," he closed his eyes once more, quoting word for word from memory, " 'you poor excuse for skin- just like your father- always forgetting something.' I turned slowly, and not to disappoint you, but I don't remember much past that. I remember the pain; awful pain. My mother running to me, hearing the screams, but Greyback was gone."

He allowed her to take his hand and he squeezed it tightly, willing her to pull him back from his pit of self-pity and pain. She kissed the back of it tenderly and shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Remus, I just always wondered and-"

"-You shouldn't be sorry. It's me whose been elusive. I owe these answers to you- I owe you an explanation for how I became the way I did."

"What way? Loving? Generous? Tender?"

He smiled slightly and settled into a more comfortable position- his guard down.

"That is the worst memory I have from childhood; from my entire life thus far. I can only imagine what it would take to trump it."

"What do you think would?" She whispered, wondering now if she was ready for this answer.

"One thought bears heavy on my mind."

"Do share."

He caught her gaze and held it for a long moment. "Losing you."

The words were almost inaudible, but as they sunk in further and further, tears sprung to her eyes and she forced herself into his arms. Coddling her and kissing her forehead gently, he breathed in a deep and shaking breath. "You are my greatest gain and would be my worst loss, Nymphadora."

That was the first time that she had ever been in love with her first name.


End file.
